If my body were a car

IF  MY  BODY  WERE  A  CAR

     

      If my body were a car, this is the time I would think about trading it in on a new model.  I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint is getting a little dull, but that's not the worst of it. 

     My fenders are to wide to be considered stylish.  They were once sleek as a little MG, now they more like an old Buick.

     My seat cushions have split open at the seams.  My seats are sagging.  Seat belts? I gave up belts when "Krispy Kremes" opened up  shop in my neighbor hood!

     Air bags?  Forget it, the only airbags I have are under my eyes.  Not counting the saddlebags of course. 

     I have sooo many miles on my odometer.  Sure I've been many places and seen many things , but when was the last time a appraiser factored life experience against depreciation!

     My head light are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things up close and at night.

     My white walls are stained with varicose veins.  It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed.  My fuel rate burns inefficiently.

     But heres the worst of it.  Almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter...either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires.

(This clipping below was included in a birthday card from my Awesome sister Betty Jo)